Questions and Comments

Well, I didn’t write a post last Sunday because I didn’t want them to feel too back to back. I had the best intentions of publishing one at a reasonable time yesterday, but it looks like that didn’t happen. If I’m being really honest, I’ve been struggling with figuring out what to write about since my last post. I’ve mentioned before that I have a list of topics I’d like to discuss at some point in time, but felt right. I want whatever I write about to correlate with what’s currently going on in my life. I don’t know what this is going to turn into, but let’s see where it goes!

The other day, I got told by a male coworker that I’m kind of plain looking, but that I’d probably look really nice if I tried. He compared me to the character in She’s All That. I’m not sure whether I should be offended by his comment or not. I don’t know what made him think it was okay to say it. The good thing is his opinion isn’t one that matters to me. Mine matters to me though and since he said that I’ve actually been wearing less makeup. Not that anyone seems to think I wear makeup anyway. At least until they see me without it and ask what’s wrong or tell me to get some sleep. The interesting thing is the pictures of myself that I like best are the ones where I’m wearing little to no makeup. Those also happen to be the pictures I look happiest in, so that’s what I want in my life and that’s what I’m going for. However, his remark did make me start thinking about other things people have said or things I’ve been strongly questioned on that people somehow thought was okay to say or do.

“You’re kind of plain, but you’d probably look nice if you tried.” What exactly do you think you look like? You’re no Kris Bryant. Heck, you’re not even Larry the Cable Guy. And in my eyes, I do try. I guess it’s not good enough for whatever expectations you have. Too bad I’m not trying to live up to yours. Sorry you’re going to have to keep seeing plain ol’ me. 🖕🏼

“I’d like to see what you look like with your makeup all done up.” Kind of like a low-budget clown you’d hire last minute for your child’s birthday party. I’ll take my smoke break too close to the bounce house and make worm balloon animals for everyone. If you use your imagination, they can be snakes, too! Maybe even caterpillars or electric eels. (Note: I don’t actually smoke). 🤡

“You probably still dress like you’re in high school.” What does that even mean? I’m confused. Am I supposed to wear a ballgown to Target? I’ll make sure I wear the highest heels I have to the driving range next time and spend $200 on a gym outfit I’m just going to sweat in for an hour and the leggings will still be see-through despite the price tag. I wear what I like and what’s appropriate for whatever I’m doing. Don’t make assumptions about my appearance outside of work based on what I’m required to wear to work. 👚👖

“You look like a lesbian.” Nah. I’m not. Not a big fan of seafood, particularly the smell. Let’s be honest though, Jillian Michaels is the only woman I’d ever be a lesbian for. 😍💪🏼😘

“Why don’t you like pampering yourself? Get a massage. Get your hair done or your nails.” No thanks. I’d rather have dirt under my nails than nail polish on them. And if by pamper myself, you mean buy lumber and build garden beds, then sure! I apologize if for some reason my appearance and/or my sex leads you to believe that I enjoy a certain type of activity. 🌱👩🏼‍🌾🛠

“Why won’t you show your stomach? It’s not like you’re fat.” Never said I was. I just don’t feel the need to do something that makes me feel naked and exposed. And don’t even try to tell me that’s stupid. Just because I’m young and not overweight doesn’t mean I want to show my body every chance I get or feel comfortable doing so. 🚫👙

“Why are you worrying about what you eat? You’re skinny. You don’t have to worry about that!” Wrong. I know it’s genetically possible for me to be obese. I’d rather create good habits now while I have the ability to slip-up before I have no choice because my life depends on it. I’ve also seen the emotional and physical struggles family members have dealt with due to their weight. I would prefer to avoid experiencing them for myself. 🍎🏋🏼‍♀️

“Why aren’t you in school? Don’t you want more for yourself? You should go to college.” And you should mind your own business, but I guess that’s not going to happen now, is it? And what I really want for myself is to not get questioned on my decisions. I don’t know what I want to go for and I don’t see the point in spending my hard-earned money when I don’t have a clear goal in mind. (Note: I am now going to school, though). 🏫

“Why did you take a semester off?” Because I know myself and I needed to regroup and destress before accumulating student loans that people refer to as good debt. If I owe someone money, there’s nothing good about it. Especially when I’m not guaranteed a job after I graduate that’s going to help me pay them off. 💸

“Why don’t you want to work full-time?” Because I like my sanity and free time. I also want to focus on school and finish that so I’m not stuck in a job where I have little to no opportunity for growth. 👩🏼‍🎓

“Why don’t you go out and party? You should go out more and have fun!” I have fun. Trivia nights are a hoot! My idea of fun isn’t being hungover the next day or crowds and places with music so loud you have to shout to talk to someone. 🤓

“Why aren’t you seeing anyone?” I am. I see myself in the mirror every day. I really didn’t know it was a requirement to constantly be dating someone. Is my worth as a person tied up in that? Am I a bad person for not wasting someone else’s time or my own if I realize it doesn’t have potential? I’m not the type to date someone just because I’m bored or lonely. And have you tried dating recently? 💃🏼

“You know a lot about baseball. Most guys will find that intimidating.” Well then I probably won’t find those guys attractive. ⚾️

“The physical part of a relationship is really important. Guys aren’t going to stick around if they’re not getting it.” Hopefully they meet up with Olivia Newton-John next then because I’m not ready to get physical. And if you really think sex is what makes a relationship, please talk to any married couple who’s gone through life’s stressors. The physical aspect is not a constant. I’m not trying to build a relationship on a changing variable. 👵🏼💗👴🏼

Now, some of these don’t seem bad because I can’t type them in the same tone as they were said. I’m sure I’ve done my fair share of commenting and questioning. I would like to work on it because I hate when it’s done to me. Everyone is different. There’s a good chance I won’t always understand why people are the way they are or why they do the things they do. It’s not always for me to understand. Sometimes it’s just an opportunity for me to see things from a different perspective or to let someone know that I respect or admire them for not being part of the norm. We all have to navigate our lives the way we think is best. That can be hard enough without people interrogating us on our choices or expressing their opinion on how we should change. I know I sure have my fair share of views, but I hope I can do my best to encourage someone else’s and share my own experiences to help them make the best decision for themselves.


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